What Interviewing Has Taught Me About People, Purpose, and Paying Attention

What Interviewing Has Taught Me About People, Purpose, and Paying Attention

When I first started interviewing people, I thought I was just collecting stories. A few questions here, a few answers there, package it up, write the article, and move on. But the truth is, interviewing has changed me more than I ever expected. It’s slowed me down, opened me up, and reminded me, again and again, that everyone is carrying something worth listening to. That's what interviewing people taught me recently. Interviewing people has become less about getting the perfect quote and more about genuinely connecting with someone’s journey. It has made me a better listener, a better writer, and, honestly, a better human.

In everyday conversations, we often wait for our turn to talk. But interviews demand a different kind of presence. You’re not the star of the show; the other person is. And that means listening, really listening. Sometimes, the most powerful moments in an interview happen in the quiet pauses, the things people say when they’re not sure anyone's paying attention. I have learned to lean into those moments. To give space. To not rush in with another question. Listening has become less about hearing answers and more about understanding people.

Before I started doing interviews, I used to think only “important” people had stories worth telling: celebrities, CEOs, and influencers. Now? I believe everyone is sitting on a goldmine of life experience. I have interviewed security guards, students, single moms, immigrants, artists, and everyday workers who have never been asked to tell their stories before. And yet, when they do, when they open up about their struggles, their grit, their quiet victories, I am always blown away. It has made me realize that ordinary people are extraordinary. You just have to ask the right questions and be willing to listen.

The more people I talk to, the more I realize how layered and complex every life is. Someone might come across as cold or reserved, but once you talk to them, you learn they have survived things you can’t even imagine. Interviewing has helped me put aside assumptions. Instead of jumping to conclusions, I ask, “What happened?” or “What shaped you?” And the answers always surprise me. We’re all doing the best we can with the stories we carry; interviewing keeps me humble enough to remember that.

One of the most touching things I have noticed is how deeply people appreciate simply being heard. Not for likes, not for attention, just for the chance to tell their truth. I have had people thank me after interviews and say things like, “No one has ever asked me that before,” or “I didn’t even realize how much this meant to me until I said it out loud.” That’s powerful. And it reminds me that sometimes, giving someone a voice, even for a moment, is one of the most human things we can do.

Interviewing others has oddly helped me understand myself better. As I ask people about their dreams, fears, turning points, and regrets, I can’t help but reflect on my own. Hearing someone speak vulnerably makes it easier to be vulnerable too. It makes me think more deeply about what matters, what I value, and how I want to show up in the world as a writer, a storyteller, and a person.

Interviewing has done more than improve my writing. It has softened me. Grounded me. Reminded me that we’re all walking around with stories, sometimes heavy ones, just waiting to be heard. Made me curious, compassionate, and committed to the idea that no story is too small. And maybe the biggest lesson of all? When you really pay attention to someone, not just to their words but also to their heart, it becomes clear: we’re more alike than we think.